Monday, July 6, 2009


Ok, I have been up here at my mommas house for almost two weeks. I went back home on the fourth and came back the night of the fifth. I loved spending time with my boyfriend, but at the same time I am still not ready to live in the house with 2 men. I still need my mom.

It made me sad when he looked at me and asked "what do I have to do to make you stay? I will do whatever it takes!"

To be honest there is nothing that he can do. There is nothing anyone can do to make me stay in Champaign, or to make me happy!

This time when he dropped me off at the train station he didnt go in with me because he was already crying in the car. I love him so much and I didnt want to leave him, but I HAD to!

From what he was saying when I was there with him, I think that when I go back home he and i are getting married. I dont know yet, I just have to wait it out I guess!


  1. You need to do what provides comfort to you right now. But, it sounds like your boyfriend could use you right now too. I know it is so easy to just immerse yourself in your own sadness, but try to remember that he's grieving too. I had to remind myself everday to check in with my husband and see how he was feeling. And, I don't mean to say that your not doing that.
    It was nice to see your post. I've been wondering how your are doing these past few weeks.

  2. Be gentle with yourself. Perhaps the time with your mom will give you some respite and give you time to heal. Peace.

  3. I am glad you made a tough decision that was right for you! Take care of yourself!

  4. Hey girl,
    Love to hear how you're doing!
    I wanted to let you know I moved to